Mauro Lustrinelli had said in his first ever press conference as the new head coach of 1. FC Union Berlin that he thought football should be fun, daring, littered with goals. He liked the rush of attacking, he said. After his debut performance had showed all that and more besides, he smiled again. “It was also nice that there were so many goal scorers,” he said after a game in which they had come in torrents.

He looked quietly delighted.

Union’s 2025/26 season had started in Brandenburg an der Havel, the rain coming down in miserable sheets, drenching the players’ new kits, launched that morning to great pomp and circumstance. So, there was a certain reassurance that the new season, 26/27, started just a few miles further along the road in Rathenow... with the rain pouring down in sheets and a new kit launched the day before, to much pomp and circumstance.

The ever-intrepid Union fans, desperate for real football, driven to distraction by the world cup, stretched out from the single roof provided for them like a tube of red and whit toothpaste had been squeezed from the middle. Soaked, they were gone in an instant after the players had bid them farewell, but all credit to them.

Behind one of the rusting goals they stood on hay bales, making up for what they lost in warmth with height and a better view. If they were looking forward to a flood of goals, this was biblical.   

The sense of déjà vu was only enhanced by the return of Marvin Friedrich at the back after six years away, and Lustrinelli partnered the returning centre-back with a brand new one, in the shape of Zeno van den Bosch. Aljoscha Kemlein, who had so impressed in pre-season a few years ago before signing his first full-time contract with the club took the armband alongside his place in midfield. The revolution was taking shape nicely.

Though Union, predictably enough, started with most of the ball, the first highlight was provided by the keeper, Carl Klaus - back from his heroics at the end of last season when he came in with Union on the brink as the last man at the back standing – drop a shoulder on the swiftly arriving, box-shouldered and barrel-chested Maxime Langner.

At the other end, Ilyas Ansah had Union’s first real effort, a side-footed shot, hit with impeccable timing from just outside the box that went just wide of the left-hand upright. But Union took the lead when Andrej Ilić did better two minutes later with his head, giving keeper, Simeon Hawwary, little chance when set up by Kemlein.

Lustrinelli meanwhile bounced on his toes and crouched on his haunches; at time, if you squinted your eyes, had he put his fingers to his lips and whistled he’d have been the spit of his predecessor, Steffen Baumgart. But his side were different. Even if this was against an Oberliga team, once they got going, they were unstoppable, irrepressible.

That would have to come, though. After 21 minutes, the hosts equalised through Langner, timing his run into the box perfectly to meet a cross from Ousmane Sannoh, having turned Friedrich on the inside right. It wasn’t to last though; the floodgates were just about to be smashed open.

Barely 90 seconds had passed when Derrick Köhn crashed a shot goalwards with his left, the ball taking a horrible deflection on the way and leaving Hawwary flat-footed, and utterly helpless. Had things worked out, Köhn shouldn’t even have been here today, having missed out on a call-up for Ghana at the World Cup only at the very last. He walked away after his strike hit the back of the net, almost embarrassed, refusing to celebrate.

It was 3-1 just after the half hour when Livan Burcu picked up the ball 25 yards out, took a touch and lashed it past Hawwary; a wonderful finish, the pick of a huge bunch. But by now, with the wind picking up, Union were flying. Ilić made it 4-1 two minutes after that, and Burke made it five, two more minutes after that. Their sixth came four later, still – almost an age by this point - as Andras Schäfer got in on the fun with another fine finish after the neatest of one-twos with Ilić. Ansah’s header for seven was towering and well placed, hit back and downwards from Juranović’s corner.

Rathenow would get another back before the break, as Sannoh whipped a beautiful shot into the top corner, having picked up the ball as Juranović was still on the ground, calling for a free kick that would never come. Even if it was ultimately meaningless (though that is of course relative), it was a gorgeous flourish, hit hard and true, with just the right amount of bend to beat Klaus’s outstretched right hand.

Union weren’t to hold off, despite coming out with a completely new eleven. After all, Lustrinelli had spoken. With Oluwaseun Ogbemudia already dominant at the back, and Linus Güther (who makes the returning centre-back look positively ancient at 19) shining on the right-hand-side, they won a corner almost straight away. Christopher Trimmel, who has almost 20 years on Olu, whipped it in for Tom Rothe to head home.

Güther and Trimmel would combine ten minutes in for 9-2, the latter overlapping and laying the ball off for the former – via the hapless outstretched boot of a Rathenow defender who lost his footing on the uncertain turf. Though Hawwary got a touch on Güther’s shot, hit hard and across the keeper, he couldn’t stop it.

Despite the scoreline and the weather and the grim humour of their fans echoing out of the pretty main stand, Rathenow were game, and refused to let their heads dop completely. Langner exemplified their efforts, first cracking a superb shot from 25 yards that could quite dip enough to drop under Matheo Raab’s bar, then as he almost reached a cross from the right, again having timed his run to perfection.

With the game petering out, all that was really left was a score to settle for Marin Ljubicic, who had blamed himself when he smashed a left-footed shot over, then had come out second best when he and Rathenow’s sub-keeper, Joshua Tipton crashed into each other going for a 50-50 ball. If he didn’t look delighted when he buried Union’s 10^th with 20 minutes to go, he also looked as if a weight was taken off his shoulders.

Ljubicic had to wait for his second, as his header from Rothe’s cross was only just parried on the line by Tipton, but Güther was there to make it 11-2, but it came almost straight afterwards. His finish for 12-2, this time with his better right foot, was excellent, bending inside the back post unerringly.

It was all over bar the shouting, and even that came for Trimmel’s efforts in getting back to challenge Langner, the captain leading by example, as if he’d ever countenance anything else – even on days like this when his side scored a goal every seven and a half minutes on average, he would be forgiven for wondering if all this was worth the effort at all.

But the greens of the pines in the background grew ever more lush as the rain continued to fall, and as Lustrinelli continued his vigil on the touchline; hands on hips, arms crossed, always moving, keenly watching, it was a joy to be there at all. As first games go, for the Swiss, it could hardly have gone any better.